If I choose Jesus, it’s because he chose me first.

The most important message I picked up from today’s readings overall is if I choose Jesus, it’s because he chose me first.

My primary takeaway from each of the passages was this:

• Numbers 31 & 32:  A holy war against Midian, the slaughtering of women, distribution of the booty, and allocation of Transjordan. 
• John 6: The magical math of Jesus, feeding thousands, walking on water, and the foreshadowing of the later betrayal by Judas. Jesus
• Psalms 74: A lament for the sacking of the Temple by the army of Nebuchadnezzar, and a good prayer for when we feel that we have been sacked by some catastrophe in our lives. A call for God to rise up and show our enemies who he is.
• Proverbs 12: “In the way of uprightness is life, the ways of the vengeful lead to death.”

Numbers 31 and 32 are yet more chapters in the old testament that remind us these books were written a long time ago in a land far away, where the cultural practices were brutal, punitive, and not particularly fair. Women always got a bad rap back then, and were blamed for everything that men did wrong. We see this all the way back to the Garden of Eden, where Eve is blamed for everything that Adam does wrong. When I read books like this, I like to think that one of the purposes of these stories is to show me that humans are terribly flawed and if the Israelites could be God’s chosen people despite their flaws, then so can I. As mentioned before, the old testament has a lot of rules and no mercy. Thank God for Jesus and the new testament.

The stories in the book of John are full of the mysticism of Jesus. In today’s chapter we get a retelling of the miracle of the loaves and the fishes, in which Jesus takes a young boy’s lunch and multiplies it to feed thousands, and with enough left over to fill twelve baskets. Jesus also expounds in this chapter on his purpose, and how God has given him a flock to care for, and he will not lose a single one that was entrusted to his care. He speaks of every follower who chooses him as having been foreordained to do so, and every follower who chooses to leave him as also being foreordained to do so. But the part that sticks out to me the most in what he is saying is that no matter what I do, if God meant for me to follow Jesus, no matter what mistakes I make or how far I stray at times, Jesus has a firm grip on me and is not going to let me out of his sight; I am safe.

When some of his followers do choose to leave him in this chapter, he looks to the twelve apostles and asks them if they are going to leave, too. Peter responds by saying, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the message of eternal life, and we believe; we have come to know that you are the Holy One of God.” In my own life, there have been many times when things were going so badly for me that I wondered, “What’s the point of following Jesus? Nothing is better. In fact, in many ways, things are often worse.” And then I have the same response that as Peter did: “Where would I go? You are the one with the words of life.” In “The Silver Chair,” one of the books in the Chronicles of Narnia series by C.S. Lewis, Puddleglum says to the evil witch who is trying to convince them that Aslan and Narnia do not exist, “You may be right, there may not be an overworld, no sun or stars or trees, no grass under your feet. There may be no world except your world here in this underworld. There may be no Aslan. This may be the only real world and you are the queen of all there is. But I would rather believe in the land of Narnia and in Aslan and all that is above this world and live in a fantasy. I would rather believe in Narnia and in Aslan than believe you.”

I would rather believe in God and Jesus than a world without them. They give me hope in what is possible when things are at their worst. To not believe is to despair. I would rather believe that if I get lost in my own hopelessness, Jesus will come looking for me and won’t stop until he finds me and safely escorts me back to safety. That’s what Jesus is telling us in this chapter.

That hearkens back to his parable of the one stray sheep, and the shepherd leaving the ninety-nine sheep to rescue the the stray; and the story of the prodigal son. These two stories are directly connected to what Jesus is saying in chapter 6 verses 34-40.

Jesus also talks about being the bread of life, and almost sounds as though he is speaking of cannibalism when he talks about eating the bread of his body and the drinking of his blood. These were, of course, symbolic gestures. However, that was meant to antagonize the Jews for whom eating any kind of meat that had not had the blood thoroughly removed was repugnant and an abomination. Jesus is teaching them something completely new (new wine in new wineskins).

In the other three gospels, when Jesus performs miracles, there is a lean, straightforward, accounting of the facts of the matter. But in John we get Jesus’ private thoughts on the events, as if John knew what they were. Of course, since the gospels were written long after the events they recount, all four authors were able to write the stories with hindsight, which did include the disciples’ intimate knowledge of Jesus and his plans, intentions, and private conversations. These stories were told and retold over and over again as oral histories before they were written down. The storytelling tradition that became the book of John is the one that included these annotations of Jesus’ thoughts and intentions. You can read about the origins of the book of John, and the reasons it is so different from the other three gospels, here.

However, this isn’t meant to be an in-depth analysis of the history of these books in the Bible. I find the histories very useful when reading the Bible, but I am always more interested in how the words hit me in the moment I am reading them. Later, in Hebrews 4:12, we will read that “the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” That’s what I feel when I am reading the Bible. Invariably, whatever I’m reading from the scriptures on any given day illuminates and clarifies my thinking when considering the events of the previous day, and how I should respond to and take action concerning those events.

The mystical nature of the writing in the book of John reminds me that there is something much bigger and more important than myself in the Universe, and that I am not in control. It also reminds me that there are forces at work that I can’t see but that I can feel, and which do influence my life. It reminds me to commit my concerns to prayer, and to put myself in the hands of God. From that position I am much more able to make good decisions and act from a calm, reasoned demeanor when doing so.

In Psalms 74, we find a lament for the sacking of the temple by the army of Nebuchadnezzar, and a good prayer for when we feel that we have been sacked by some catastrophe in our lives. It is a call for God to rise up and show our enemies who he is.

In Proverbs 12, we find a litany of advice and wisdom about being diligent in our work, keeping our own counsel, and letting God be our champion when we experience injustice. Revenge is not for us to seek, but for God to exact for us. Karma eventually overtakes us all, good or bad.

That’s what I got out of it. What did you get out of the readings today?

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This post is part of the series, “Read the Bible in a Year.”

To see other posts in this series, go to the Chronological Index of Read the Bible in a Year Posts.